how to handle unexpected changes
Trading the Lesser, for the Greater
Have you ever had a moment when something didn’t go as planned? If you are open to a new way to look at this and to have more comfort during your journey, I would love to share some fresh perspectives with you!
Today I was talking with someone, who we will call Bob, because it makes it fun and mysterious. Bob shared with me about his recent layoff from work. Amidst the pandemic, he had no idea what would happen next. He has bills, two kids to take care of, and fur babies. And himself! He had been unhappy in his previous job, but it was still scary! What would happen next?
He took initiative right away to find another job. And online he found an opportunity to apply for a role in a field he had missed working in. He took action. Applied. And was starting his new career within weeks—working for a company where he can grow and flourish!
The reason I share Bob’s story is not because things are always this obvious when it comes to things working out. Or that they will always be this seamless. But because sometimes in life we may face a difficult moment, such as losing a job, things not going the way we planned, that relationship ending, and we can tend to lean towards frustration or fear.
We can acknowledge the pain and reality WHILE also shifting our perspective to allowing ourselves to understand there are new chapters of our story waiting to be written. And we will make it through this time. It might require us to trade in the lesser, for the greater.
Just like Bob who lost his job where he was unhappy, to quickly finding a new role in a field he enjoys. Did Bob panic in the midst of this transition? I am sure he did at times! And on the other side is where he can now be thankful for losing his job—what some people might see as a nightmare.
The 3 Day Rule
If you are finding yourself in the midst of change or unwelcome situations, I have a few methods that have helped thousands of people get back on track with a positive outlook.
First is the 3 day rule. What this means is that before reacting or making a big decision, you are going to give yourself 3 days to welcome this new change before deciding how you feel about it. I know someone who lost their job and both him and his wife decided to wait 3 days to decide what they thought about it. Not labeling it good or bad. And within those 3 days, the husband found a new job within bicycling distance to their home! It had better hours, and it even paid better.
They stayed open to the opportunity to give up the lesser, for the greater. Which helped them stay in a mindset of looking for solutions!
If you have an event in your life right now, or in the future, know that you can choose to decide how you feel about it after the 3 days when things have cooled off and you have had time to reflect. And this is going to bring more peace to your life. Life will be less reacting, and more responding.
Choosing Your Response
Second is filling your mind with affirmations and positive messages. Listening or watching optimistic entertainment is going to help you feel more optimistic naturally. Remember that saying that we become the five people we are closest to? This applies to what we watch, read, and listen to as well.
CHOOSE to tune into YouTube channels, podcasts, and music that reflects how you would LOVE to feel. Not how you might already be feeling during a lot of transition. It can be so so so easy to turn to depressive content when we feel depressed. Or happy songs when we are happy.
But I challenge you to soak in less media just because it feels comfortable, and to allow yourself to get a little bit uncomfortable for the sake of growth and your own outlook on your situation. That may mean listening to an artist that is your go-to during the happier times, even though you feel like you are in a slump. Then you can have more strength to walk through it with more ease. And again, I am not saying to ignore how you feel. Acknowledge reality. Cry if you need to. Yell if that helps. But decide to do that for a limited period of time, give yourself that space, and then it’s time to DECIDE how you are going to move forward.
This is dusting at the surface of what I get to pass on to my clients, but hopefully it helps you start to take action if this is resonating with you today. Let me know if I can support your journey, and email me if you would love a safe place to share.
Remember, sometimes to get more fulfillment out of life, it requires giving up the lesser so you can receive the greater.