how to get unstuck and welcome freedom
Have you been feeling like you are walking through mud in one area of your life? Where it just feels sticky and draining? I have been there sooooo many times and in different ways. And I would love to share some things that have helped me to get un-stuck and move on my merry way.
Since the age of 16, I would contemplate what I wanted to do with my life. I remember sitting down at the computer with dial-up internet (yup), and slowly make my way across the internet in search for career aptitude tests and personality tests. My thought was that maybe a test would tell me what to do, and I wouldn’t have to guess anymore. Sounds great right?
The tests always had results that were service focused like a counselor, pastor, or teacher. And even though all of these piqued my interest, I never felt like any of them quite fit. And I would continue searching for another test. It was unending.
I kept searching for answers outside of myself—through testing, my family, and peers. Once I made it to college, I continued to try to understand where I fit in the world. Each career always felt a little bit too constrictive in one way or another.
During college I would change my major three times and go back for another B.A. after getting my first one because Journalism wasn’t quite working out for me. Maybe Biology and studying wildlife would be the key? And it wasn’t. I ended up missing human interaction while out in the field doing research.
After all of this trial and error and nine years of college, I finally reached a dead-end. I was done. Done trying to figure out where “I fit.” And I started to work on my mindset and change my approach. Instead of where “I fit,” I started to realize first of all, that I was trying to fill a void in my life with purpose through work.
Because maybe if I distract myself enough with chasing after the perfect job long enough, I will forget the spiritual hole that is in my heart. Or the longing to get more in touch with who I really am instead of what I felt like the world wanted me to be. Maybe I could forget about those longings in my heart with distraction.
Although, I didn’t know this is what I was doing, looking back it definitely was. And there is no shame to that. I lived. I enjoyed life. I learned a lot along the way. And I am grateful for all of it!
The blessing now is being able to realize what was happening and having enough awareness to be on a corrected course that is more fulfilling. A direction that doesn’t mean I fit into a box or need to distract myself from my heart’s longings. But rather to embrace my human experience, pursue spiritual fulfillment, to live whole-heartedly in the moment, and to have careers based on what I love doing naturally. I have re-discovered myself. And in many ways, I have gotten to know who I am for the first time.
Freedom Could Be “a Few Feet Away”
There is a great tiny book called You2: A High Velocity Formula for Multiplying Your Personal Effectiveness in Quantum Leaps by Price Pritchett. The book’s message is based on the opening story about a man sitting in a hotel room while watching a fly bang against the glass of the window over and over again.
The man sitting in the room shares his thoughts about how that fly is going to end up like all of the other fly’s dead at the bottom of the windowsill, who had also been trying to be free. Freedom was just on the other side of that glass and they could see it! And they tried harder and harder until they ran out of energy, and eventually life. And the man said, if only the fly turned around to see an open door six feet away where it could easily find freedom.
What I have come to discover through my life and working with my clients, is that often there is a simple answer to most of our worries and it just happens to be out of our awareness. It is easy to get focused on that one thing that we think will be our solution. So we put all of our energy at it and try over and over again, hoping for a different result. This is a normal human response.
What I am going to challenge you with today, is if you are feeling stuck, to let go. Let go of trying to make things work with whatever that is for you that has you feeling drained and tired. Release it. Write it down on a piece of paper and burn it if you feel inspired. Your time and energy is precious and it’s time to get to the root of what is going on so you can free yourself from the bondage of this current thinking pattern.
A helpful hand in these situations can be exactly what we need. Write me back if there is anything I can do to support you with a kind word or affirmation. I am here for you, and we’ve got this. This stuckness can be temporary if you are open to changing your focus to seek new solutions.
“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” – W.L. Bateman